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May 19, 2012

FYI: If you ever work at a fancy magazine and if I’m ever notorious for my character-driven novella of doom, I’d like my callout to say this: She wrote an entire character based on the line of Adam Levine’s jaw. Then she killed him. 



(Photo content brazenly stolen from Rolling Stone.)

10 Comments leave one →
  1. May 19, 2012 5:37 pm

    HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I’d say I’d have that put on your tombstone, but the death panel rejects memorialization in any form. You will live on through the neuroses of those who knew you best, your Pulitzer and the ashes of the note I’ll quilt onto the mattress I put on the raft I light on fire. It will list my grievances.

  2. May 19, 2012 5:56 pm

    One mattress shall hold your grievances? I dare not believe it. If this is your intention, I fear I shall float into eternity disguised in a calico cloud of smoke as The Viking Princess and the Pea.

  3. May 19, 2012 5:59 pm

    That’s going on the list.

  4. May 19, 2012 6:07 pm

    Yer mom’s going on MY list.

  5. May 19, 2012 6:10 pm

    She says, “hi” by the way.

  6. May 19, 2012 6:18 pm

    Hi, mom. You look beautiful tonight. (Mom. Not you.) And, incidentally, our grievances with you (you, not mom) shall be listed on individual post-its and affixed to the entirety of the state of Oklahoma.

  7. May 19, 2012 7:09 pm

    I am Mommy’s special and most bestest only thing. At least until she finally meets you. Come to think of it, I need some duct tape, a blowtorch, a goat, several lengths of rope, a 45 of “Take Me Home, Country Road” and a mattress.

  8. May 20, 2012 8:27 am

    All you will need are shoelaces and a few Percocet. I believe it was the aforementioned poet Levine who said, “I do not mind if I die tied up.”

  9. May 20, 2012 9:02 am

    That makes my brain hurt.

  10. May 20, 2012 1:35 pm

    It makes my ……

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